


One More Try

by blue_jack



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Fix-It, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Pining, Tony comes back
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:55:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26916973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_jack/pseuds/blue_jack
Summary: On the tenth anniversary of his death, Tony came back.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 48
Kudos: 162





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tina_v](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tina_v/gifts).



> ETA: Wtf, my brain is a sieve. I also wanted to thank [BladeoftheNebula](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BladeoftheNebula/pseuds/BladeoftheNebula) for giving this a read and cheering me on. You're so sweet, thank you!
> 
> This is for the fabulous [Tina](https://thirstinart.tumblr.com/). Happy belated birthday, lovely! I’m sorry it’s not finished yet, but you were like, 30k fics are my favorite, and I was all D8. I make no promises that this will reach 30k lol, but I wanted to write you something with more than just porn, so here we are. *hugs hugs hugs* I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Many thanks to SpaceCrazyArtist on the mcu discord server for the beta! They went over this as they were fighting a sinus infection, and I really appreciated the help!

There was a moment when Steve was returning the Stones that he realized … he didn’t have to go back. He could stay.

Instead of hitting the button that would take him back home, he let his arm drop, and he leaned against the side of the building, his legs unsteady. 

He could stay.

Thanos was gone, and the world was safe, and … and hadn’t he earned the chance to grab a little bit of happiness for himself? He’d sacrificed so much, _lost_ so much—he had to close his eyes for a second, tried to swallow down the grief—but he was back in his own time now, and it’d be easy to find Peggy, to hold her close and live out the rest of his days with her, to do all the things he’d hoped to do the first time around. 

The Avengers could make do without him, had been fine without him for a while now, and Bucky—

His breath caught in his throat.

Fuck. 

Bucky.

Bucky, who he knew would be the first to tell him to be happy … but who he’d promised he’d be there for and who had to feel even more alone than Steve had ever been. At least Steve had had people who were happy he was alive, but Bucky had woken up in a world where virtually everyone either hated him or wanted to use him. 

And maybe the Earth was safe right this instant, but they weren’t hidden in anonymity anymore. There were millions upon millions of planets that knew about them now, knew there were Stones to be found here, and yes, they’d defeated Thanos, but who was to say there weren’t other, even more powerful beings that wanted to succeed where he’d failed? Could Steve really leave the Avengers to fight without him when they were already down—

He tilted his head back and rested it against the brick as he breathed, in and out, in and out.

It’d be so easy to find Peggy.

He pushed off from the wall and straightened up, letting the weight of his decision settle on his shoulders.

But when had he ever taken the easy way out?

\-----

He was invited to speak at Tony’s funeral. Not the private one at the lake house where Tony had found a piece of paradise with Pepper and Morgan before Steve had shown up and set him on the path to his death. The public one, where his words were transmitted all around the world in honor of the man who’d saved them all.

He’d practiced the speech tens of times because he’d kept having to pause at certain moments to collect himself, and while he knew that he had to be the face of the world’s gratitude and loss, he refused to break down and make a spectacle of his misery. So he’d practiced and practiced until he could get through to the end without a single misstep, and all that repetition meant that his mouth formed the appropriate words without him on the day itself. 

It didn’t take much for his wandering mind to dwell on all the what-ifs that might’ve prevented the very thing he was there to mourn: what if Steve had just done a little more, what if Dr. Strange had told them what to expect so they could’ve planned for it, what if Tony had flown to Carol with the Stones instead of using them himself?

But either Tony hadn’t thought of that in the heat of the moment, or Tony had decided the risk of Thanos stopping him was too high, and after all, what did one life matter against billions?

Not much. 

And yet, somehow, everything.

He knew that anyone on the battlefield would’ve done the same thing if they could have. But Tony had been the only one who’d actually done it, and Steve wished, more than anything, that it had been him instead.

\-----

Steve wouldn’t say that he’d been in love with Tony. He’d admired him a great deal, worried about him, cared for him. He’d betrayed him too, and oddly, it’s the memory of how Tony had looked at him in Siberia that gave him nightmares for a solid few months after Tony’s death. Not that he didn’t find himself remembering Tony in his last moments, lingering on the way his skin had burned and cracked and the vacant shine of his eyes, but it was Siberia that seemed to haunt Steve the most now. All of his regrets piling higher and higher.

He’d done what he’d needed to in order to keep Bucky safe. But.

But.

The truth was that Steve _could_ have fallen in love with Tony. He’d always demanded Steve’s attention whenever they’d been in a room together and even when they hadn’t, Steve’s thoughts following after him long after he was gone. Truthfully, Steve had had to put an artificial distance between the two of them more than once when he’d realized just how much he looked forward to seeing Tony.

It was bad enough to be attracted to Tony, but letting himself act on that, or letting himself nurture that attraction, would’ve been … disrespectful, to Tony and to Pepper. And foolhardy. And for all that Steve put himself in the path of most resistance more times than not, he wasn’t actually a masochist, and allowing his feelings for Tony to grow the way they'd wanted to would’ve been setting himself up for pain.

More pain. 

So he hadn’t been in love with Tony. But the possibility of it, the ache of wanting what Steve couldn’t have, had definitely been there.

It made it so that he went to check in on Pepper and Morgan every week because it was all he could do for Tony now. He asked Pepper’s permission, of course, not wanting to add to her burden in case she didn’t want a reminder of the Avengers hanging around, but she seemed grateful for the company, for Morgan at least. He and she had never exactly been close, although they’d always been friendly with each other, and they would sit down to tea or coffee or share a meal together if he arrived late enough, but Morgan was always there, and they directed their questions more to her than to each other.

(He wondered sometimes if Pepper ever suspected he had feelings for Tony, but she never brought it up and neither did he.)

Frequently, he’d be accompanied by Sam or Scott and Cassie, Clint had even brought his kids out a couple of times, and when Pepper and Morgan moved back into the city, it became even easier to make it routine. 

Not that Morgan took to him right off the bat, and for the first several months, she was quiet whenever he visited, but she let him read to her or play with her as long as Pepper was nearby. It was only when she saw him sketch a picture of her favorite teddy bear that she looked at him like he might be someone interesting, and it was so uncannily like how Tony had looked at him in the beginning that Steve had to choke back an inappropriate rush of sadness.

Still, Morgan eventually started to smile shyly at him when he visited, and it was strange, but Steve discovered that he _liked_ being Uncle Steve, liked how trustingly Morgan would slip her hand into his when they walked to the park, loved her bright mind and her sweet humor, and he was grateful to Pepper for letting him be part of her life.

Even when Morgan asked him one day, “Uncle Steve, when is daddy coming back?” and he stumbled through an answer that left her solemn and him hollow. 

“That’s what Mommy said,” she told him and then wanted to read together, and he shoved the memories down.

He still went on missions, and he made an effort to meet up with Sam and Bucky as much as he could, the other Avengers as well when they were nearby. He even reached out to Peter Parker, but while Peter was polite, he wasn’t interested in establishing a relationship with Steve, and Steve didn’t try to push. He understood Happy was stepping into Tony’s shoes for Peter, and he didn’t try to intrude, although he told Happy that he was available for Peter if he ever needed him.

Things went on this way for a few years, and Steve decided he should start to date. He hadn’t thought anyone could live up to Peggy, but then he’d met Tony. He didn’t think anyone could live up to Tony either, but who knew? Maybe it was time he let the both of them go.

He didn’t, but he did try, and he found a few people he spent some time with, but he never got serious about any of them. He’d had the love of his life, maybe even more than once, and who else got to say that? He was in a good place with people he loved who loved him back, and he was lucky, he realized as he blinked at the display of colored pencils in front of him. He was putting together an art kit for Morgan’s birthday, and the fact that he could, that this was normal for him, made him pause. 

He wished Tony were there suddenly, his heart clenching, wished Tony could see his daughter on her birthday and see all the things his sacrifice had made possible, all the people who had recovered and moved on after Thanos. 

He knew it was foolish to wish for impossible things, but he couldn’t help himself. It still hurt to think about Tony, even now, and while he imagined there would come a day when it didn’t anymore, he doubted he’d ever stop missing him completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the exposition, but I had to set the story up. Next chapter is already written, and I'll post it in a few days.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to [BladeoftheNebula](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BladeoftheNebula/pseuds/BladeoftheNebula) for cheer-reading this and to SpaceCrazyArtist on the mcu discord server for the beta! <3
> 
> *blows kisses to Tina*

On the tenth anniversary of his death, Tony came back.

As with everything Tony had ever done, it was a performance, Tony slowly and majestically descending from the heavens in the Iron Man suit, his face uncovered so people could see him with his arms outstretched at his side. The allusion to Jesus Christ couldn’t be more obvious, and Steve thought, _only Tony_ as his heart tried to stutter its way out of his chest or into a heart attack.

Because Tony had never been able to do anything if it wasn’t over the top, he interrupted the mayor during his commemorative speech as thousands of people started to point and shout. The mayor unsuccessfully tried to push his bodyguards away as he joined in on the staring, but they ushered him off the stage quickly, and Steve didn’t bother keeping track of him after that.

Steve wasn’t up there with them, but he and the Avengers who were currently on Earth were all in the front row, and he knew that, like him, they were probably all wondering what the best way to handle this was because there was no way that could actually be Tony. It had to be a doppelganger of some kind, intent on using Tony’s memory to insinuate himself into their world and try to take over.

But.

But what if it was?

No, no, that was impossible. They had all seen him die, had buried him in Arlington, and had mourned him for the past ten years. There was no way that-that _thing_ on stage was Tony.

Steve knew that, and yet he still didn’t make a move to stop him— _it_ as it landed and headed toward the microphone, an eerie silence settling over the crowd. It looked older than Tony had when he’d died, and anger burned in Steve’s chest for a second that it would _dare_ when Tony hadn’t had the chance to age—

“So apparently the reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated,” it said, and Steve had to lock his knees to stay upright. Steve didn’t know why it caught him off guard, but hearing Tony’s voice after so long ….

It smiled and winked, lifting its arms. “Who here missed me?”

It was … completely inappropriate and outrageous and painfully true to character, and Steve wasn’t surprised at all when what started as a hesitant chant of Tony’s name quickly became a roar.

\----

“What were you thinking?” Hill demanded several hours later after they finally managed to drag him away from the crowd to SHIELD headquarters.

“I was thinking that I didn’t want to be shot or imprisoned while you guys conducted all sorts of invasive, illegal, and quite likely uncomfortable tests,” the thing that wore Tony’s face told her, but it didn’t look upset. The expression on hi—its face was soft. Amused. Affectionate almost, and Steve realized that he couldn’t look into its eyes and somehow just _know_ whether or not it was actually Tony, but rationality didn’t hold a candle to the pain of being in the same room as someone that looked and sounded and acted like Tony and not being able to touch him.

“So instead you stoke the fires of alien body snatchers and/or necromancers, the Second Coming, government conspiracies, and that’s just what’s trending at the moment. Who knows what other theories they’ll have in a few more hours?” She sighed and rubbed her forehead. “You never make it easy for me, do you, Stark?”

“Why let dying and then coming back to life ruin a good thing?” he said and glanced away from her to smile and wink at Steve, which had no right to send his heart into palpitations since it wasn’t Tony (but what if it was?), but it did anyway.

“You realize the uncomfortable tests have to happen one way or the other, right?” Hill asked dryly.

“Just … be gentle,” it said, leaning back in its chair and laying the back of one hand across his— _its_ forehead.

“Don’t you think he’s laying it on a little thick?” Peter muttered next to him, tension running like a current through his body. Steve had to resist the urge to pat him on the back. They were in uniform, and it wouldn’t be appropriate to show anything that might come off as a weakness in front of an unknown entity. Even if it _was_ Tony by some miracle. 

Although, of course, it wasn’t. 

But what if … ?

No. That way lay madness, and Steve couldn’t let himself hope like that when he knew better. If anything, he should be furious like Peter was. There had to be a reason that it was here _now_ on the tenth anniversary of Thanos’ defeat. Something was happening, and Steve couldn’t let himself be blinded. It was just a distraction, a ploy of some kind, and he had to keep a clear head and not let the thing’s face confuse him. He wasn’t going to be swayed by the tests, no matter what the results said, and he knew that Peter wouldn’t either, that if nothing else, the two of them would stay strong.

\-----

“It’s alright,” Tony said in a near wheeze as Peter lifted him into the air with the force of his hug. “I’m fine, there’s nothing to worry about anymore, I’m fine.”

“But y-y-you’re _here_ ,” Peter said, his voice thick with tears, and it was a legitimate answer as far as Steve was concerned. He felt … overwhelmed. Overcome. Like up and down had no meaning anymore, and gravity was no longer a truth but a suggestion.

He hadn’t been surprised when all the physical tests had come back and confirmed the body in front of them had Tony’s DNA with the appropriate shrapnel scarring and the corresponding signs of surgery. Of course it was going to be physically identical. Tony had lived a very public life, and whoever had sent it wouldn’t have bothered if they couldn’t get that much right. 

Steve had expected it to pass the mental tests as well, which it had, not only solving unbelievably complex math problems in a flurry of pen strokes that Steve wouldn’t have been able to copy if his life had depended on it but also correctly answering question after question about Tony’s personal life and the lives of those around him. The armor was perfect down to the very last detail, which meant the aliens or whatever had potentially gotten access to Tony’s private servers, so all the moments that they or anyone else had shared with Tony could very likely have been recorded and used as reference. With JARVIS and then KAREN afterward, they might not have had a truly private moment ever.

What Steve hadn’t been prepared for, however, was Dr. Strange.

“Look, I really missed you guys, maybe not as much as I thought I did before spending four days of being locked up in here, but still, a lot, really and truly,” it said, and Steve remembered that tired tilt of his mouth, the rigid line of shoulders that spoke without words that Tony wasn’t going to give up without a fight, “but I’m starting to miss alone time more, real alone time, not just time where it’s me and all the cameras pointing at me.”

“Until we can be absolutely certain you are who you say you are,” Hill began, and then all hell broke loose as a glowing circle appeared in the room.

“Oh come on,” Dr. Strange said as he steps through his portal, back from whatever dimension he’d been in for the past few months. “Aren’t you guys done with all your idiotic tests yet?” He turned his back on all of them in obvious dismissal. “It’s good to see you again, Stark. I meant to be here for your arrival, but I got stuck in—”

The pandemonium that broke out then drowned out the rest of his words, but it still wasn’t louder than the roar of blood in Steve’s ears.

It couldn’t be.

“It’s really him?” he dimly heard Peter ask, his voice cracking like he was a teenager again, and the hope in his words was heartbreaking. “It’s really you?” he asked the—

—he asked Tony. _Tony_. And Steve didn’t understand, but he _wanted_ , he wanted it to be true, and Tony smiled, a gentle quirk of his mouth.

“Yeah, it’s really me. I guess I can’t call you ‘kid’ anymore, though, huh? You’re all grown up,” he said, his eyes turning sad and wistful, and it was just a couple of minutes later that they got him out of his cell and Peter tried to get ten years worth of hugs in all at once.

Steve was ashamed to admit he was jealous, wished that he could hold on just as long and just as tightly, but when it was his turn, he kept it quick.

Or he tried to anyway, but the reality of Tony in his arms made him tremble, made him cling and memorize the feel of him safe and alive— _alive_ —and he held on longer than he intended.

“Hey, Old Man, I missed you,” Tony whispered into his ear, and Steve let out a shaky laugh.

“Not as much as I missed you,” he told him, the only bit of truth he could give him because if Tony knew just how much Steve meant it, he wouldn’t let him get half that close.

But then came all the questions, and Steve moved away, let Tony slip from between his fingers, and he knew it was the right thing to do, but it hurt more than he would’ve thought possible.

\-----

“So let me get this straight,” Rhodes said after they’ve finished rounds and rounds of debriefing and were sitting on couches surrounding Tony. Rhodes had retired as War Machine almost five years ago and been promoted to General, and while he’d had access to all of the interviews with Tony, he hadn’t been allowed to be present in case Tony broke free and tried to kill everyone. “Aliens _did_ actually steal your corpse, and because you’d been an Infinity Gauntlet wielder, they were able to regrow all the dead cells and reanimate your body with the residual power of the Soul Stone.”

“Yeah, although apparently, it took almost six years before I was able to open my eyes,” Tony said, and he looked exhausted but much more relaxed now that he wasn’t locked up anymore. He was still required to stay on SHIELD grounds, but there were no cameras in his temporary apartment that Steve was aware of, and even if there were, Steve was sure there wouldn’t be by the time Tony went to bed.

“And they went to all this trouble because they were grateful for you killing Thanos?”

“Well, that and my good looks,” Tony teased, which was unfair since Tony had a streak of gray in his hair that did things to Steve’s stomach he could never have anticipated. “But it was a whole system of twins basically. Everyone is born with a twin, and they can only have offspring after a four-way sexual fertilization. Murdering half the population would’ve eventually resulted in complete genocide if Bruce hadn’t brought them back, but since I was the one to finally get rid of Thanos …” He shrugged.

“Unbelievable, Tones,” Rhodes said, shaking his head. “Only you would save a race of people that had the technology to bring you back and the determination to do whatever it took to accomplish it.”

“What can I say? I’m just lucky, I guess,” Tony said, but there’s a twist to his lips that made Steve look away.

_”What, you think I came to SHIELD first? I’ve seen Pepper and Morgan already. They know where I am.”_

If he’d thought about it, he would’ve wondered why Pepper hadn’t been knocking on SHIELD’s door and demanding to see Tony. Other than leaving a message on her voicemail right after the ceremony that they were going to take care of everything, however, Steve had been too fixated on tearing the mask off of someone pretending to be Tony and trying to come to terms with the effect of seeing him, even a fake him, again after all these years to worry about her and Morgan.

Of course Tony’s first priority would’ve been his family, so days before he’d shown up at the ceremony, he’d looked for the two of them. Only to discover that Pepper had gotten remarried three years ago.

Steve knew exactly what it felt like to realize the world had moved on without him, but at least Tony would be able to watch Morgan grow into a woman, to be there for her first date and the first time she fell in love. Obviously it was far from perfect, but it was still _something_ , and Steve hoped it would give him comfort as he adjusted to a world that had gotten used to him being gone.

“I just wish Dr. Strange had told us you coming back was a possibility,” Peter said from his place right next to Tony, and Steve agreed. “I get that he didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up and that there were more timelines where you didn’t make it than where you did, but he could’ve at least hinted that there was a _chance_ you’d return.”

“I understand why he didn’t, and what matters is that I’m here now, right?” Tony said, and the look Peter gives him said louder than any words how much Peter had missed him.

It made another pang of jealousy shoot through Steve because when it came down to it, he and Tony weren’t actually _that_ close; Steve had made sure of it. He couldn’t show just how happy he was that Tony was back, not without confusing nearly everyone in the room, Tony included, and that wasn’t how he wanted to confess. Hell, he didn’t know if he was going to ever admit how he felt. It’d been easy to have feelings for a dead man. But now that Tony was alive ….

Maybe Tony had missed him, but the people he loved were Rhodes and Happy and Peter. While it was a temptation to try and stay for as long as Steve could, to reassure himself that Tony was there for good and wouldn’t disappear as soon as he looked away, if anyone had the right to be there for Tony tonight, it would be one of them.

It was still hard to force himself to eventually get up and go, but Sam swung his arm over his shoulders after Steve said his goodbyes and told him, “C’mon, Steve. I’ve got you,” and so he nodded and only looked back once to see Rhodes shifting closer to Tony on the couch before tearing his eyes away.


End file.
